The Sweater Curse

 All female knitters are told early in their learning process that they should never, ever, knit their boyfriend a sweater. Because if a female knitter were to make that mistake, said boyfriend would break up with her.

There are a multitude of theories regarding this phenomenon. All assume that the man in question does not like knitting. Or commitment. The most common, contemporary theory, argues that a handknit sweater is a symbol of love and devotion, given that it takes quite a while to make such an item. This potent symbol of regard and affection thus scares off the fickle man, who apparently wants a woman who's not that in to him. He never wears it, and it languishes in the closet as the woman stews over his ingratitude. He dumps her for her clingyness and moves on to a hipper girl.

Poppycock. Balderdash, I say! Why do we give men so little credit? Male knitters aren't told anything like this; there's no reverse sweater curse where your girlfriend leaves you crying over a pile of wool. Moreover, while obviously there are men who are afraid of lasting ties, there are just as many who would love to be with someone who loves them enough to wrangle with the wool.

No, I think there's more going on with the sweater curse phenomenon, and I have my own theory, developed during my year working in the yarn store. One of the most common customer complaints was that the recipients of these beautiful, lovingly crafted pieces, were completely ungrateful. I heard countless stories of daughters and daughters-in-law holding up the delicate white baby sweater and saying, "Oh, that's nice." Or the teen son looking at the new sweater his mother made with a sneer. Such an item could never be cool! What many of these knitters failed to account for was the personal taste of the recipient. Just as you don't buy a vegan a box of dry aged beef, you don't knit a lacy pink sweater for a baby girl whose mom is into death metal. In short, know your audience.

The fact of the matter is this: for many knitters, the effort that goes into a sweater is immense. You stretch your boundaries, try something new. You make mistakes and have to rip back. There's drama and personal growth! But no matter how much love you put in this sweater, it will never mean as much to the recipient as it means to you. If you are not prepared to accept that fact, then you should only knit for yourself.

He bought the yarn himself in Iceland.

However, if you are willing to forgo the surprise element, and knit something that you personally may not like, there is a way to knit successfully for others. The solution to this problem is to ask your intended recipient, no matter how close the relation, if they would like you to make something. And you must commit to not being offended if your intended recipient says no. Then, you make the recipient pick the yarn (or at least colors) and the pattern. The object becomes a collaboration, with a greater chance for success.

All of this to explain that I'm knitting the Gentleman in Question a sweater.