Fake Girl Scout Cookies

Hello everyone! Where have I been, you ask? At work, of course. For 13 hours per day. I went in yesterday too. I was supposed to go in today, but there's only so much I can take. So on the one hand, money. On the other, I haven't posted in a while, and I made these cookies last week.

I love girl scout cookies. I love both Samoas and Thin Mints, though for different reasons. The Thin Mints are refreshing, while the Samoas are decadent and delightful. I only bought one box this year, which was a shame. The cookie sale is now over, so no more cookies for us. But then! My roommate found this recipe. So I decided to make them.

Verdict: they're a huge pain. Delicious, certainly. But a giant pain in the ass. Our kitchen is too hot to temper chocolate properly, and caramel is finicky like a two year old. I burnt the first batch of caramel and had to start over. I also can't seem to temper chocolate correctly. You're supposed to heat it to 120, cool it to 80, add some more chocolate, and heat it to 86. Here's my issue though: at 120, it's not all melted, and when you add the extra at 80, it never melts. I don't understand. I am doing it wrong, but I don't know where my mistake lies.

But whatever, they were still amazing, and the only drawback was that I had to keep them in the freezer. They were so delicious in fact that I forgot to take a picture of the finished cookie. Whoops.


Ingredients:

For the cookies:
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), chilled and cut into small pieces


For the caramel:
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
6 tablespoons water
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
6 tablespoons heavy cream
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract


For the chocolate and coconut:
1 pounds semisweet chocolate, separated into 1 (14-ounce) portion and 1 (2-ounce) portion
1 1/2 7oz bag sweetened, flaked coconut, toasted


Directions:

Make the cookie base first. Mix together the egg and vanilla and set aside. Mix together the flour, sugar, salt, and baking powder. Using a pastry blender, cut in 1 stick of butter. It works best if it's cold, and you'll have to work at it for a while. Build some muscle! Pour in the egg and vanilla, and mix it up with the flour. Your hands work best. Once it's all combined, flatten your dough into a disk and refrigerate for at least an hour.

Preheat the oven to 375. Roll out the dough (I used a pint glass for this.) to 1/8" thick, then put it in the freezer so it can get hard again. Once it's firm, remove it, and cut out 2" circular cookies. I used a Jäger shot glass for this. Then use a smaller circular cookie cutter to cut out the centers. I had do to it freehand with a knife. Bake the cookies for 10-12 minutes. About 30 fit onto a sheet; they don't spread.

Once the cookies are out of the oven, spread the coconut on the cookie sheet and toast for 10, minutes, stirring once or twice. Turn off your oven and go do something else while the cookies and coconut cool.

Now, it's time for caramel. The original recipe didn't call for a thermometer, so I didn't use one. Mix together the sugar, water, and salt in a small saucepan. Bring it to boil over medium heat, stirring once. Boil for a further 15-20 minutes, swirling the pan occasionally. Don't stir! Once it turns the color of caramel, remove it from the heat and pour in the cream and vanilla. It'll sizzle a lot. Stir until it's smooth and pour into a heat proof bowl. Now go do something else. You can make the cookies and caramel at the same time, then take your break.

Once your caramel is cool enough that you can stick your finger in it without burning yourself, you can temper your chocolate. Using a double boiler, melt 14 oz. of chocolate to 120 degrees. Remove the chocolate from the heat and use an ice bath to cool it to 80 degrees. Put it back over the water, which should be at a simmer, add in the other 2 oz, and heat to 86 degrees.

Time to assemble the cookies! Dip the cookie bottoms in chocolate, then cool them in the fridge or freezer. Dip the cookie tops in the caramel, then in the coconut. Cool them again. Take the remaining chocolate and drizzle it over the cookies. Cool them again, and you're done!

Like I said, these were a pain to make but delicious to eat. They lasted less than 24 hours. One of my coworkers offered me money to make another batch and give them all to her. When I get my life back, I will!